Today is one of those days where every ounce of news seems like horribly bad, earth shattering, bad bad news. I know I am being obsessive on things and freaking out on little things but I can't seem to just chill the fuck out. The little things are snowballing and I have a list that is bugging me now. My sister told me a while back she was moving to Idaho and we went over there and blah blah she said she wanted to give me more stuff before the moved so I asked when through an e-mail about a month ago. No response. I got an e-mail first thing yesterday morning with a picture of the house they are renting in Idaho and saying how much fun the kids are having in the snow. I don't know why but it hurt....I wanted to see the kids once more before she left, I am sure things were busy before the move but at least an e-mail saying they have no time would have been better then nothing. Another little thing is we took my car in last week for a smog which I was SURE it wouldn't pass and got so freaking nervous then they said it passes, woohoo! We picked it up and this week I went online to pay my vehicle registration and it still said no smog results....hmmm. Eric called and they realized there was a miscommunication between the writer and mechanic and they only did a pre-smog test.....yet we paid for a smog. Does anyone actually only go in for a pre-smog test? NO! Anyways so last night we had to take my car BACK in for a smog.
I am so aware of how dumb this shit is but in my head once I get relief and then find out it wasn't real it's depressing. So many emotions for nothing. Of course on top of retarded obsessions on little upsets I have been super emotional over my mom still. I just wish with everything I could talk to her, she always had a way of relieving my brain of little things. Eric has been trying to make me more aware of when I am getting worked up for nothing which helps sometimes and sometimes it feels like I'm worked up and being attacked for it. WHY can't I just fucking RELAX?!?!
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