If something happened and I died tomorrow, would I be missed? Would you be missed? People think "oh yeah people would miss me" but would they? Have you done good in life? Have you helped others? Made a difference? I think that I am a good person and I know have done good for people but I don't think I would be missed.
Ever since my mom died I feel like the one person who I KNOW would find me if I was lost is gone. Like walking around without a safety net. If I died tomorrow no one would even know. If I went missing would anyone notice? Of course Eric would know and he may tell him mom but no one would probably tell my family (the few) and even if they did I don't think they would worry or try to find me. If I died I don't think anyone would miss me much if at all.
This is not a pity party it's my feelings. I don't have close friends mostly business contacts and random people who will call or text you every 6 months to see "whats new?". My dentist would of course wonder why I missed my cleaning appointment. My clients would wonder why they haven't gotten any updates. Odd feeling.
On the flip side of that I may feel like I lost my safety net but I also know my mom is watching me and she has some say in what happens to me. My mom used to tell me to "give it to god" which sounds AMAZING but how do I do that? I worry about dumb ass shit all the time and I would LOVE to give my worry away. But its impossible it feels.
Life in progress...
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