Why do I fight myself constantly? I compare myself to other people "oh she had better skin than I do" "she has bigger boobs" "her teeth are straighter than mine" I used to never give a fuck. I used to think "you be pretty like you and I'll be pretty like me" I can say to myself if I look like shit its because I have been through a hell you can't imagine and I'm really just lucky to have hair on my damn head. I am on a mission to get that confidence back!
I know everyone is different and if you go to any amusement park and just look around you can see that people come in ALL different shapes, sizes, colors, styles, etc. People are real! Not that shit you see on TV and in magazines, the people in the world , at the grocery store, at the bank etc are all real people. They smell, their clothes are wrinkled, they have weird laughs, lazy eyes, glasses, braces, bad posture, hair in random places, gray hairs, clothes that don't fit. I could go on forever!! I know "they" say "be the best version of you" it's really all you can do. BUT what is the line? So if I say I would be better if I dyed my hair or got a nose job or a boob job. It's still be but is that a better version? Where is the line between me and too far?
I know I don't look like my friends. I have friends who get so freaking dolled up for no damn reason that no matter how cute I look I feel like I look frumpy because I don't even know how to go to that extreme with ten pounds of makeup and a million things hanging off my body: earrings, necklaces, bracelets, rings, scarf, beanie, like really......Isn't that tiring?
Why can't we all be happy being what and who we are without all the BS? You can never attain perfection, because it isn't real. But why do I feel like I need to constantly compare myself? I am tired of it. My goal is to be happy with me.
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