Well my 30th birthday has come and gone, thank god! Not as freakishly emotional as the last but still entirely overwhelmed. A friend of mine took the day off work and took me to Disneyland which was 100+ degrees that day and it seemed like every ride was broke or an hour plus wait so we bailed. We got coffee and chatted for hours. It was a very nice distraction from what would have been a very depressing / cry baby day if I had stayed home and attempted to work. Eric came home, brought me flowers and took me to dinner followed by 2 pieces of cake! I got a card in the mail from my dad (shock considering he didn't acknowledge my existence on Christmas or Eric's on his B-day) it didn't say much but made me cry. I felt cared about and loved (even if for a moment) that day. It was a good day overall.
I have had in the last two and a half weeks a lot of appointments which make me extremely anxious and stressed out knowing something is coming days away and I can't just get it over with fast enough! So I have been extremely tense and high stress lately. To the point where I have been clinching my teeth and I wake up with a sore jaw and sore neck from it. Ugh like I need more shit wrong to add to my stress! SO I am trying very hard to make a conscious effort to stay in the moment or at least focus on the day I am in. I have had a bit of lack of motivation to do much else because stressing is stressful and I have been completely ZAPPED of energy.
I need more tips and tricks to control my anxiety and stress. I want to be one of those people who just gets excited about things, new adventures, change, etc. I am NOT at all that person. I want to learned to go with the flow and enjoy the moment. I want to look at my life and think "I have it good!" instead of "OK I can relax once I do this, or that, or fix that, or get that done, etc!" It's never ending. I get through one thing and find something else to stress about.....it is not cool! I will not get more stressed as my life goes on......I need to take 30 on in a CALM fashion. ..... In progress.
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