Emotions

On my quest for normalcy I still can't control my emotions. I haven't been talking on the phone lately which has helped my stress level stay lower then normal. Eric took me on a nice hike/ walk at the Anaheim Hills Nature Center on Saturday it was so gorgeous. We used to go on hikes all the time before we bought our place so it felt really good to be back in nature and just talk with Eric. I took a ton of pictures which is my new thing, I like to think someday someone will pay me money to use one of my awesome pictures, ha! whatever it's therapeutic for me so that's all that matters to me. We went to t a new thrift store after wards and got a cute skirt , top and pair of jeans! and even a pair of pants for Eric for less them 18 bucks! Then he took me to my favorite $1 book store and I found a book about being an Adult Child ( for those of you who read this and are not sure what that is, it is someone who was a child of an alcoholic) and a Book from Oprah's book club By Eckhart Tolle called "A New Earth , Awakening to your life's purpose" Th back says it will help readers awaken to a new state of consciousness and follow a path to truly fulfilling existence" Sounds pretty damn good to me!

Sunday Eric took me to Disneyland in the morning where we rode Casey Jr. Train for the first time it is from the movie Dumbo and I can not stand to watch that movie. Not because I don't like it but because of the scene where Baby of Mine plays and Dumbo's mom is in a cage and sticks her trunk out of the cage widow to rock her baby (dumbo). Just explaining this to Eric and even typing it out right now makes me cry uncontrollably. I remember when my mom was in Rehab and we only got to spend a little bit of time with her once a week on these visits and we only got to hug her and hold her for a little while. She told me when I was little that when you lost an eye lash to make a wish on it and blow it away. So when she was in rehab I would pull my eyelashes out just to wish that she would be home and better soon. So moral is the story is that Casey Jr. train put me into a downward spiral of emotions for the rest of Sunday and most of Today. I just miss her....