Yesterday was 6 months of her being gone. I planted 10 more trees in her name through Arborday.org. I miss everything about her....I saw her in my dream last night, she was behind a window and just stood there smiling at me. She was wearing this pink sweatshirt she used to wear all the time when I was little. I didn't wake up crying or anything I was happy I got to see her.
I have been listening to a lot of Dave Mathews bands and instead of avoiding music that might make me cry I am just playing whatever I want to hear and if I cry then so be it. There is a song that gets me every time called Baby Blue specific lyric that cuts me like a knife is :
Confess I'm not quite ready to be left.
Still, I know I gave my level best.
You give, you give, to this I can attest.
You made me, you made me.
You and me forever.
I am not ready to say goodbye to her, I don't want to. I'm gonna see her again when I die. I don't want to say bye.
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