I feel like I am in neutral right now. I have been less stressed out not talking to my dad and Eric has been amazing and supportive. I am doing more like organizing and cleaning and catching up on things but I am also really scared to do too much more. I apply for jobs and then when they call to set up an interview I get super scared and don't return their calls. Fucking stupid and I don't know how to stop being a wuss.
Yesterday Eric and I went to Disneyland in the morning before football and we went on Indiana Jones and I was laughing and smiling on the ride and we were being silly and right as the ride comes back to where to started for us to depart. We were the second car waiting to get off and I went from happy to crying. Not because of the end of the ride but lately if I get too much of any emotion I get overwhelmed and start to break down. Which makes me scared if I go to an interview if I get too nervous I might get overwhelmed and just break down. I still cry everyday and I don't know when it will hit.
Eric keeps saying I'm in no rush and don't push it if it doesn't need to be pushed. I feel antsy to be myself but I'm not still and its frustrating and I can't do anything about it right now. blah!
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